1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise.

    2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable.

    3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it.

    4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else.

    5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything.

    6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice.

    7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small.

    8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full.

    9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle.

    10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck.

    11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog.

    12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through.

    14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything.

    15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends.

    16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

— Sixteen Small Steps to Happiness  (via baimbie)

Hello, is the someone here?

24 Things to Never Say to a Twentysomething Virgin

I lost count of how many times I’ve heard those things

Anonymous: I still check your blog all the time. i know that's creepy but I can't help it. I miss you.

Hi there. I log into this blog here and there cause I still get asks. I’m think about making another blog (without the porn) to keep on talking about the drama. If you’re interested, stay tuned. :D

Jun 01   1 note   # Anonymous  .
Anonymous: I will, for one, miss your blog and your presence on the internet. But I respect your decision. Your struggle with virginity first attracted me to you, but it was your honesty and willingness to put yourself out there that made me follow you for 2 years. You need never be ashamed of any of your postings.

Oh thanks, dear Anon. But I’m sorry to say that it’s exactly (as you said) my willingness to put myself out there that is making me close this blog. i’ve always knew that this blog was a way to compesate for the things I didn’t experienced, and now, as much as my life, it became frustrating. Anyway thanks for the “fellowhship”. Maybe I will have this blog changed for something that will service me better. I don’t know yet.

Jan 26   # Anonymous  .

Why I can’t move on?

lifeisendingonepostatatime-deac: Why are you closing it?

Became pointless

I’m tired of all this porn

I’m tired of running it

And I’m feeling a bit ashamed of it.

I’m closing down this blog.

i hope i frustrate you and you think about me a lot

After we decided to not see each other anymore, he tried to make some contact with me (just friendly), which I didn’t answer. I’m affraid of what will result from any contact with him, but now I think I’m being rude towards him. What should I do??

Dec 20   1 note   # love  certain guy  .